It's a Hard knock life for us. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do I am still drowning. Do you ever get that feeling? I was sitting in school, my most boring class ever, pharmacy calculations. While I should be paying attention because a mistake in math would kill my patient I simply start thinking of how much school I still have left. Wow I've done 7 months already but I still have 2 and a half years left. How long can my family survive me going to school? How long can they starve? How long can I keep my self-esteem going? I then realized I need a break to re-evaluate my worth and why I'm sitting in this very boring class right now. 6 more weeks and then I will be able to see my parents and that will hopefully give me the boost I need to go on. It doesn't help your self worth when you apply for every job and don't recieve any responses. School keeps delaying my CNA classes so until I get that I can't really work anywhere worth while. Ever since I was a young woman I knew medicine was what I was meant to do, but at what price does it become too much. I can't give up, its not in my blood but it is extremely difficult. I feel the guilt of not spending time with my children like I feel I should, I feel like I neglect my husband, and my housework suffers greatly. Meanwhile I don't have a job so our finances become so stretched at times I don't know how we are making it. I know that Satan wants me to feel worthless, he wants me to give up, he wants me to fall away. I won't give him that satisfaction. I am ready for this downer day to be over.

All the kids and us on Halloween 2008
We definantely had
an awesome time.

I am new at this so you'll have to bear with me while I get all the kinks out. I will hopefully writing alot about our new adventures in life. With three kids I'm sure we will have alot of them.